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23-02-05, 11:41
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Bimmamanicpsychoanalretentiveness (BMWfreakism)
As published in JABA, the Journal of the American BMW Association, June 1999
BMWfreakism is a serious complication that is causing growing concern across the globe. There is no known cure for BMWfreakism, but it has become widely known that sudden outbreaks of BMWfreakism can be suppressed by performing impulse driving, attending a drivers’ school or popping the hood of most German automobiles. BMWfreakism has not been confirmed to be passed through genes, however, there is a strong suspicion that if it truly is carried in the genes, it is passed through the father's side of the family. 99 percent of reported BMWfreakism cases are in young males, between the ages of 12 to 43, regardless of race or habitat location. Early signs of BMWfreakism can be detected beginning at about the age of 10, although some reported cases trace early symptoms to age 6. The early symptoms include the reading of German automobile magazines, abnormal staring habits in parking lots, and the seemingly harmless installation of pictures and posters of sports cars in the child's room. Occasionally the onset of serious symptoms can occur rapidly, with little or no warning. This rarely happens in children under the age of 16. Some of the more serious symptoms include excessive drooling in parking lots, frequent, unexplained trips to the BMW dealership, purchase of BMW without major inspection performed, purchase of two BMW automobiles within one month of each other, cleaning the garage and sandblasting the concrete garage floor, installation of a hydraulic lift inside garage, an increase in anal retentiveness, the ownership of two or more Bentley books, excessive crying when the BMWe30.net message board does not work, sleeptalking including the phrases "timing belt", "valve adjustment", and "I’m stuck in reverse! I'm stuck in reverse!!", loss of friendships, use of octane booster...not in the car, and every time he or she finds a new ding on his or her car, the person goes into a deep state of depression. Scientists are warning physicians that we will slowly be seeing a steady increase in the number of patients afflicted by BMWfreakism, because there is tangible evidence that suggests BMWfreakism is a contagious disease. For instance, last summer at a large, week-long gathering of car enthusiasts, "Oktoberfest", 234 people were exposed to the disease. One of the patients became so anal retentive from the disease that he slashed his wrists and desperately tried to clean up the blood before it stained the carpet. His body was found in a pool of blood-soaked Bounty paper towels. Horrific stories like this one are not uncommon in the United States and Germany. In an interview with ABC's Barbara Walters last month, Jeannie Willinski described the terrible course of the disease as it ravaged her husband and only son. "BMW cars became a topic at the dinner table almost every night. My husband had an ISDN computer line installed in our house at great expense, just for, I guess, um, the purpose of viewing photographs of BMWs on the internet. The cost became so great that we had to move into a mobile home" Willinski said with tears in her eyes. "They (son and husband) purchased seventeen BMWs in one week, my son quit school to mess around with them every day,....it was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen..."...There was a long pause, and Mrs (now Ms.) Willinski said...."Then I received a call from my mother...she told me she had cancer and desperately needed my help....but I knew I couldn't help her, because my son and my husband had used up all of the money." It was true, and only a couple of months later the two were sentenced to prison for 6 years each, for the trouble their financial problems had gotten them into. The son apparently had snuck a rolled-up handbrake cable into the prison cell, for after spending two weeks in the big house, he strangled a guard and tried to escape by climbing the barb-wire fence. He was shot to death by a sharpshooter in one of the perimeter security towers. The father, not long after, drank a can of Redline ATF and died shortly thereafter. Jeannie Willinski desperately tried to recoup the lost money, in part by selling the 17 BMWs. However, it was too late. Not enough money could be raised, and Jeannie's mother died in her hospital bed on Christmas Eve. Now the only thing Ms. Willinski has left is her father. He has very recently bought a BMW, and has begun tinkering with it. Willinski checked herself into a cuckoo's nest 4 days after the live television interview on ABC's 20/20. "Why did this happen to me?? I want someone to put an end to this insanity! Other families should not suffer the way that I am now..." Willinski's best friend, Mishell Turner, has filed a lawsuit against BMW-NA, stating that they are responsible for the death and destruction that follows BMWfreakism. The details of the lawsuit have yet to be released.
Βλέπετε καμιά ομοιότητα με πρόσωπα και καταστάσεις εδώ γύρω....?? :eek: :dance:
Bimmamanicpsychoanalretentiveness (BMWfreakism)
As published in JABA, the Journal of the American BMW Association, June 1999
BMWfreakism is a serious complication that is causing growing concern across the globe. There is no known cure for BMWfreakism, but it has become widely known that sudden outbreaks of BMWfreakism can be suppressed by performing impulse driving, attending a drivers’ school or popping the hood of most German automobiles. BMWfreakism has not been confirmed to be passed through genes, however, there is a strong suspicion that if it truly is carried in the genes, it is passed through the father's side of the family. 99 percent of reported BMWfreakism cases are in young males, between the ages of 12 to 43, regardless of race or habitat location. Early signs of BMWfreakism can be detected beginning at about the age of 10, although some reported cases trace early symptoms to age 6. The early symptoms include the reading of German automobile magazines, abnormal staring habits in parking lots, and the seemingly harmless installation of pictures and posters of sports cars in the child's room. Occasionally the onset of serious symptoms can occur rapidly, with little or no warning. This rarely happens in children under the age of 16. Some of the more serious symptoms include excessive drooling in parking lots, frequent, unexplained trips to the BMW dealership, purchase of BMW without major inspection performed, purchase of two BMW automobiles within one month of each other, cleaning the garage and sandblasting the concrete garage floor, installation of a hydraulic lift inside garage, an increase in anal retentiveness, the ownership of two or more Bentley books, excessive crying when the BMWe30.net message board does not work, sleeptalking including the phrases "timing belt", "valve adjustment", and "I’m stuck in reverse! I'm stuck in reverse!!", loss of friendships, use of octane booster...not in the car, and every time he or she finds a new ding on his or her car, the person goes into a deep state of depression. Scientists are warning physicians that we will slowly be seeing a steady increase in the number of patients afflicted by BMWfreakism, because there is tangible evidence that suggests BMWfreakism is a contagious disease. For instance, last summer at a large, week-long gathering of car enthusiasts, "Oktoberfest", 234 people were exposed to the disease. One of the patients became so anal retentive from the disease that he slashed his wrists and desperately tried to clean up the blood before it stained the carpet. His body was found in a pool of blood-soaked Bounty paper towels. Horrific stories like this one are not uncommon in the United States and Germany. In an interview with ABC's Barbara Walters last month, Jeannie Willinski described the terrible course of the disease as it ravaged her husband and only son. "BMW cars became a topic at the dinner table almost every night. My husband had an ISDN computer line installed in our house at great expense, just for, I guess, um, the purpose of viewing photographs of BMWs on the internet. The cost became so great that we had to move into a mobile home" Willinski said with tears in her eyes. "They (son and husband) purchased seventeen BMWs in one week, my son quit school to mess around with them every day,....it was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen..."...There was a long pause, and Mrs (now Ms.) Willinski said...."Then I received a call from my mother...she told me she had cancer and desperately needed my help....but I knew I couldn't help her, because my son and my husband had used up all of the money." It was true, and only a couple of months later the two were sentenced to prison for 6 years each, for the trouble their financial problems had gotten them into. The son apparently had snuck a rolled-up handbrake cable into the prison cell, for after spending two weeks in the big house, he strangled a guard and tried to escape by climbing the barb-wire fence. He was shot to death by a sharpshooter in one of the perimeter security towers. The father, not long after, drank a can of Redline ATF and died shortly thereafter. Jeannie Willinski desperately tried to recoup the lost money, in part by selling the 17 BMWs. However, it was too late. Not enough money could be raised, and Jeannie's mother died in her hospital bed on Christmas Eve. Now the only thing Ms. Willinski has left is her father. He has very recently bought a BMW, and has begun tinkering with it. Willinski checked herself into a cuckoo's nest 4 days after the live television interview on ABC's 20/20. "Why did this happen to me?? I want someone to put an end to this insanity! Other families should not suffer the way that I am now..." Willinski's best friend, Mishell Turner, has filed a lawsuit against BMW-NA, stating that they are responsible for the death and destruction that follows BMWfreakism. The details of the lawsuit have yet to be released.
Βλέπετε καμιά ομοιότητα με πρόσωπα και καταστάσεις εδώ γύρω....?? :eek: :dance: